Day 5 and After the campaign Journals

Mike:

"It has been a couple of weeks since sleepout and I have had a lot of time to reflect. I am very grateful to have had this experience. I never thought I would have said this, but spending time on on the streets has been one of the most incredible weeks of my life! I consider myself blessed to of had the opportunity to participate in sleepout120 with such wonderful people who certainly made the experience a lot easier and a very pleasant one. My 120 hours was rich in education as I learned a great deal about myself by stepping out of my comfort zone and immersing myself in street life for 5 days. It was a very eye opening experience. I learned a lot from the homeless people I spoke with, their resilience and positive outlook can truly be an inspiration to us all. I think we are all too quick to pass judgement, something I am not totally innocent of either. It is paramount to realize that we all have our own unique story, life histories and that we all have a purpose, passion and place in this world no matter what cards the game of life has dealt us. I strongly encourage people to take an opportunity to give back to the community and develop a sense of citizenship. As a young man I consider myself very lucky and blessed to of had the experiences I have had in life thus far at the age of 23, I am thrilled to have been presented with such a humbling opportunity to give back to the community. My 5 days on the streets proved to be a wealth of knowledge for me. I hope that what I have learned will be reflected in my work ethic, through empathy and passion for other people and I pray that my newfound experiences and sense of hope shines in my future endeavours.

To my sleepout pals; You are all awesome people! The experience would not have been the same without you guys. The fact that the week was filled with emotion on every end of the spectrum and we all still managed to get along truly speaks to everyone’s character. The sense of teamwork, fellowship, passion and friendliness displayed throughout the week truly was amazing and certainly made my experience all the better. So thank you for a remarkable week, one that I will never forget. I consider myself very fortunate to have shared this experience with such a vibrant group of youth, we all have bright futures ahead of us full of meaningful work that will touch lives and make this world a better place! I hope none of you ever lose sight of that no matter what challenges and perplexities the future has in store for us"

Robyn: 

"This is the first time I have actually had time to sit and reflect about Sleep Out 120 and coming home.

All I can say is it was very eye-opening. The loneliness one feels on the street is a feeling nobody should ever have to feel. Ashley drove me home and the whole time we both felt so..odd. You feel weird being in a car, almost claustrophobic. My head felt spacey, I couldn't think straight and I just did not feel like myself.

You take the smallest things for granted everyday. I walked in the door and my twin 7-year old brothers greeted me with "Hi, sissy! We saw you on the news!" These words were the sweetest I have ever heard. They diminished me to tears instantly as i dropped my gear and they ran into my arms. Then all I could think was "when was the last time the guys we met who lived on the street felt this much love?" Who knows the last time they were given a hug by a loved one. When was the last time they got to hop into a nice hot shower! That shower when I got home was the best shower I have ever had in my life, that fist home cooked meal was the best I'd ever tasted. I took time to savor every little thing. I hung on every word of the smallest conversations. People should really stop to smell those philosophical roses more often because one day you could wake up and everything you own and or love could be gone. Enjoy everything and live each day to your fullest.

To my Sleep Out 120 family: It was an honor and a privilege to have experienced this journey with you! You all brought such a unique quality to the group! To be with you, the people who do not just sit around and say "something should be done about this issue", but actually go out of their way, go outside their comfort zone and DO something about it...well words cannot express how proud I am to have been a part of that! You will all hold a very special place in my heart forever! Love you all!! <3

To the committee, the community, the family and friends of myself and the rest of the team, the network, Stella Burry, Choices, and Waypoints: Thank you for the unbelievable support you have given us! The love and support you gave us is what got us through.

Most of all I would like to thank the people we met who were homeless or at-risk. Your stories will never be forgotten. The fact that you came to check in with us every morning to make sure we were ok and made it through the night still leaves me mind-blown! You are truly some of the sweetest people I have met and I thank you for sharing your stories and the streets with us. 

I am so grateful for this experience and I have truly been humbled. Here's to another successful campaign! Cheers to you all and much love!"

Ashley:
"Its been a couple days since sleep out has ended. I'm lost. Although i still have plenty on my plate in order to give everyone a total on how much money we have raised, its hard not being around the team as much! i miss them! <3. Physically, I'm fine. I slept the day away on Saturday and Sunday, but it was well needed. I had 6 hours sleep the whole experience. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for someone to hold a job or go to school on 6 hours sleep in a week. People say about people who live on the streets that they could walk in and get a job at tim hortons, or mc donalds, or they could go to school, blah blah blah. You can't do anything if you haven't slept, if you haven't had a solid meal in days, if you are worrying about where you're going to sleep, or if you'll get attacked in your sleep. 
 
I was reading the comments on the telegram after we slept out, I know there are still ignorant people out there. But I was delighted to see some participants mom's defending their kids, and the cause. :) i love those mom's for doing that. It just proves that through us participating we're educating everyone around us, including our families. 
 
This has been an unbelievable experience. I can't thank the team enough for being such awesome individuals. The amount of support from the community has been overwhelming, as well as the support from the network, choices, stella burry and waypoints. 
 
I'd especially like to thank Emily, Laura, Erin, Jennifer, Melissa, Blair, and Kathryn for being on the committee that organizes this. Without them, I don't know if Sleep Out would be as wonderful as it was this year. What an incredible group of people with such amazing hearts, passion and drive. I'll never forget them and the spirit and soul that they bring to every aspect of this campaign! Love you all! :) xoxox Much Love and Hugs! :) "

Jody-Beth:

"The drive home was odd. As we drove through downtown I saw many of the faces I’d become so accustomed to. All of these people I’d met and spoken with, we’d established relationships. But now I was in this car, and I was going home. It’s like a wall had completely separated my life for that week and my regular life. I started thinking “Will they remember me? Will I remember them? Can I say hello? Will they still be here in a year, 5 years, 10?” Will I just be another passerby? I know I’ll say hello and that I’ll always care but there is a separation between us.

That afternoon I didn’t really sleep. When I woke up several friends were at my house and were all getting ready to have a bbq. They asked me how I was and told me what a good thing I’d done; that they’d seen me on the news. And then the conversation went on to other things, and it was all over. You feel a little disconnected and afraid that you’ll forget. Forget how cold you were, how sad you felt at times, how tired you were, the smiles of your team’s faces. But you remember the people that didn’t go “home”. You remember the people that are still out there, and all you think is “I can’t wait for next year, I can’t wait for the next 120 hours.”

To my Sleep Out family: each and every one of you has taught me something and made me a better person. Thank-you for your humor, your laughs, your smiles and your words of wisdom.

“There's all these people hanging out, in front, asleep, just on the footpath, you know laying down, maybe a card board box to sleep on and be lucky to have a blanket and people were stepping over the top in two or three degrees, two or three degrees is freezing cold. People just stepping over the top to get in their cars.” – Xavier Rudd, 3 Degrees"

Kayla:

I woke this morning feeling so sleepy even though I had a solid sleep. I feel like my body is beginning to shut down. I had very little energy, I was hungry but I knew the importance of pushing forward. I know what we are doing is going to make such a difference in the lives of the youth.

We spent the day in front of the Scotia center raising awareness and collecting funds to put back into the community. It’s an odd feeling to sit and watch people walk by while you sit on the cold concrete or stand with a sign. Some people smile and keep walking, others stop and want to know what we are doing and a few people argue the idea of the campaign. Despite having positive or negative reactions we are still getting the message across. There is in fact a problem of youth homelessness here in St. John's.

It was close to 4:00 before we ate anything and even though in your head right now you may be thinking 4:00 isn’t that late but when you’re in the mental, physical and emotional state you are while homeless; 4:00 is late. It is one of the few times I was extremely thankful to see food and hot food at that. Don’t get me wrong I’m so very thankful for the public and all the food donations we received but yesterday we had gone a while without eating. Sadly it’s a reality for many people.

Last night there was a hockey game and we made our way to Mile One Center to raise awareness and collect for the youth. It was so astonishing to see the support from the community, something you could NEVER know unless you experience firsthand. I am so blown away at how giving we as people can be. To see people walk by and give you thumbs up, to tell you what you are doing is great, to say they support what we are doing, to say thank you, to watch parents give their children money to place in our cans is a feeling I can’t even put into words.

The late night came and even though I was in such high spirits from the community and the positive aura they gave off, the night was difficult for me. I was exhausted and the rain really puts a damper on you but I made it through and here we are; at the end.

“Be the Rainbow in someone else’s cloud.”

                           -Maya Angelou

            
                                                      

Blair:
"I have been home now for 5 hours and I just woke up from a nap. I'm glad to be home with the privileges that I'm accustomed to (shower, ready accessibly to food, internet service, spending time with my family and dog, being able to contact my family and friends, and overall just having the comforts of home). When I got in the shower to wash for the first time in 5 days, I thought of the people who don't have the privilege to be able to enjoy the comforts of home. There are so many people out there who are unable to feel what I'm feeling right now and this makes me feel sad but motivated to continue to work towards change in Newfoundland Labrador. 

I feel so grateful to have been a part of the Sleep Out 120 2012 campaign. I already miss the people we have met during the week and the participants of the campaign. As I'm writing this journal entry, I'm use to having 9 people just inches away from me, so now, I'm in a one bedroom apartment with my dog. I have an loneliness feeling right now, I know that I won't be lonely for long but it really makes you think about the loneliness a youth at risk must feel if they have the feelings of hopelessness. I hope Sleep Out 120 provided that hope for the young people in St. John's that may be struggling with barriers. As a participant of Sleep Out 120, we raised awareness about the barriers and I hope the general public was able to become more educated on the issues that youth face. Together we can change and I believe that Sleep Out 120 participants are helping to create that change."



Kathryn:

"Well 2012 Sleep Out 120 Campaign has finished. How am I feeling now? In one word: Overwhelmed. Trying to get my head around the last 5 days. Living on the streets is a different world. Friday, we hanged out and wanted to be visible for the whole day. We went to the Ice Caps game and I was overwhelmed with the amount of support we got as people arrived and left the hockey game.  There was a grade 7 student who approached us at the game and said he had to do an essay about social justice and wanted to know some information. The fact that he knew we were standing up for social justice was a highlight of my day.

           

We had pizza donated to us and we gave a piece to a Jay, a youth on the streets. It might have been his first time having a hot slice of pizza in a while because his face lite right up.

I was thinking earlier yesterday, if we walked into Atlantic Place with our Sleep Out t-shirts and hats off would anyone recognize us or would we look like travelers of actual street youth? When I have gone to Atlantic place by myself, with or without my pack I tend to get a lot of looks, where as when I am out at the mall at any other given day I get overlooked just like everyone else. When you are doing a campaign like this and literally on the streets, you’re really putting yourself out there to be vulnerable and stared at.

The last day, I witnessed one of our own sleep out family members give her sleeping bag away right in front of everyone to a man she promised two days earlier when he came asking if we knew where he could get one. It really warmed my heart to see this. Shout Out to you – You inspire me and you rock!

As I was driving home, my fiancé had to roll down the windows and I asked “Do I really smell that bad”, he admitted a little. Which really made me reflect on how often the homeless individuals get to shower. Where in the city could they go to take a shower? I thought about it for a while and the answer I could think of was nowhere (unless you are in a shelter), public sinks can only do so much. St. John's doesn't have the resources that some bigger cities have. When was the last time the guys were given a chance to wash their clothes even? I was amazed at how quick you get dirty and sweat and smell like body-odor.

I got in my house today and it was so unbelievably quiet. I live on a cul-de-sac so traffic is minimal. I stepped onto a cushioned carpet floor, and noticed at how much softer and cleaner it is then concrete. I actually took a moment to enjoy the feeling as if it as the first time I had ever been in a house. Which caused me to think about the guys I met on the street (We actually did meet more men then women). When was the last time they were in a house? Invited to someone’s house for dinner? Slept in a bed? Felt warm and safe?

Keep an eye out for Sleep Out 2013. If I have my way, this campaign won’t end until the need for affordable housing is significantly less and people were educated on the stigma and barriers to homelessness."