Sleep Out 120

Day 3.

Kathryn:

“Yesterday, we sat on the streets for the most of the day. We broke up in a few smaller groups. A couple of people drove by and yelled some obscenities and flipped us the finger. This made me aware of how uneducated some people are and how campaigns like this are needed.

We had the Mid-week Event last night, having attended all three; I truly think that this year was the best yet. The art was amazing and seeing the youth in Blacklight do a performance was inspiring.

The support from the community has been great – people have been driving by us and honking.

I keep saying to everyone that I’m committed to doing this campaign again and want to plan something big for the fifth year. I’ve been involved since Day 1, and working in this field makes me more aware of the need for campaigns like this. Only time will tell about this.

Yesterday CBC was down to speak with us. They have been very supportive and have made a few different articles about the campaign. They did an article about a couch-surfing man that has a difficult time finding services because he has no criminal record, and doesn’t do drugs. This just proves the need for more support services.

No one should have to live like this; never knowing when you will eat, where you will sleep, or how much sleep you will get. I slept well last night, but five hours is still nowhere near enough for me to function under my typical circumstances, let alone living on the street.

The group I am out here with are amazing. We all have our ups and downs, but we become a family. I seen a few past participants last night at the event and it was so refreshing and it lifted us up. I can’t wrap my head around doing this by myself. The people who face homelessness, are often alone.”

Kayla:

“’You’re doing a good thing’ -    Y.P. (Choices)

To hear those words from someone who will possibly avail from the money we are raising really validates what we are doing. It just makes you feel really great.

Last night was the Mid-week Event and the idea behind the event is fabulous but I found it very, very, very difficult to watch the people in my life go home. I wasn’t one bit emotional until last night – the smallest things killed me, I have yet to bounce back from being overly emotional but the group will get me through it. Also knowing what we are doing is indeed making a difference.

Yesterday while sitting on Duckworth Street a lady walked by and had a conversation with us, and one thing she said really stuck out. She said, ‘you should be thankful of where you live’, I never really thought about it until then. Would I be the same thing if I lived elsewhere? – Probably not… actually definitely not

Off to day 4! And, it’s sunny out.”

Lindsay:

“Day 4, and I’m ready to go home. I woke up this morning feeling tired and gross.

Yesterday was one of the better days, and it wasn’t as cold as the day seemed to fly by. We had all day to look forward to the Mid-week Event. I was so happy to see my family and friends. It was nice to be back in an atmosphere where you’re not judged by certain people. Everyone was there to support us, and it was such a great feeling. I didn’t want to leave the event because I was so happy to be around my family and friends; the thought of going back to the streets gave me a sick feeling, I knew then it was going to be a hard night.

I am really starting to feel annoyed and angry when people walk by, and completely ignore us. The feeling of being rejected by society sucks, and I was never in this position before.

Last night, we were sitting on the top of George Street when a young man walked by. We started to chat and he was telling us about his experiences staying on George Street. He said the street was a bad place to be. He told us that some nights while down there, he would get attacked and beaten up by some of the drunk people, and that we should leave by midnight.

I found myself becoming sad and angry by his story because I don’t understand how people can do this. I found myself speechless and I didn’t know what to say.

We’re half way to the end now. I wouldn’t be so positive if I wasn’t around the other participants. I feel like we are a family and these people are what gets me from day to day.”

Robyn:

“Yesterday was a really emotional day. When we left out meeting in the morning, we spilt up into groups and hit different spots. I was with a 24-hour participant who had to leave at 11:30 a.m. and I was supposed to walk up and meet the other group that was just up the street from where I was.

Walking up the street I could not find them so I started to walk to meet the group that was down on the next street. In that 10 minutes, even th0ugh I knew I was walking to my little sleep out family, loneliness set In. It was crazy just how fast it hit me and stayed. All I could think was, ‘Wow! People do this every day.’ I knew I was walking to the family I’ve come to love and respect and I felt completely, and utterly alone.

Most of the guys we’ve met on the streets have no one. They sit alone every day with nothing but their thoughts. We’ve been ignored on the streets at time s, but that is their everyday life. If there is one thing that I’ve learned from this experience thus far that I want to pass on to people it is this: when you see a homeless individual, say hello. Ask them how they are, smile, just show them some acknowledgement.

The next time you see them sitting there please try to put yourself in their shoes. Imagine how you would feel sitting there being ignored, no one saying ‘hi’ for hours on end… next time, be that person to make the smallest difference in their day.”

Michael:

“Yesterday was another day rich with new experiences, however, yesterday brought me a startling realization. When standing on the streets it dawned on me how people readily ignore other individuals on the street, and how lonely some days must be for homeless persons. No matter how politely we said hello to people or how warm our smiles beam, some people opt to keep their head down and what they can to avoid eye contact as they scoot on by. What strikes me the most is when people out you down for your efforts, it is disheartening when people stick up their middle finger as they drive by enjoying the comfort of their car or when they make the conscious effort to roll down the window and yell things like, ‘F**k you’, and ‘I don’t give a f**k’, something I would never have expected to hear; but unfortunately this is a reality.

When I hear things like that yelled at me by commuters passing by, I ask myself, ‘Why am I doing this?’, but then I think of the people that endure this every day with strength and resilience and still present themselves with hope and an upbeat outlook on life. It is to these people I look for a sense of inspiration, with hope of change for those caught up in their busy bubbles.”

Ashley:

“Emotions are high. Morals are decreasing.

The Mid-Week Event was great, however, people found it difficult watching loved ones leave. It makes me think about what it would be like to not be loved, cared for, acknowledged, and respected. On Saturday, I get to go home to a social net with support systems.

What about those who don’t?

As this campaign draws to an end, I wonder what will happen to Robert, Marilyn, Jim, Bill, Jeremy, and Frank?

What else can I do?

How can I help?

Can I help…?”

Jody-Beth

“Yesterday was pretty lonely. It was one of our better days weather-wise and the team was awesome (as usual), but as soon as I was left with my own thoughts I’d find myself overwhelmed. That’s when your Sleep Out team kicks in.

Someone makes you laugh or even smile and suddenly you feel a little less lonely. I saw that on people’s faces on the streets. Instead of ignoring them, we spoke to them.  We didn’t have great philosophical conversations or discuss the perils of the world. We just chatted, and smiled, cracked jokes, talked about the weather, how delicious oranges are and the big hockey game. Every time one of them asked how we were doing, I couldn’t tell the truth – I couldn’t say I’m sad, I’m lonely, I’m tired, and I’m cold.

My emotions after three days seemed so trivial compared to theirs.”

Blair

“I believe that I’m a well skilled and non-judgmental child and youth care worker. Yesterday, my perception of myself was changed. Regarding to my journal yesterday, I explained that I have tried to support an individual for the last three years and all he wanted was more money for his addictions. Turns out I was wrong, and all the stories he was telling were true.”

Who am I to put judgment on others?

I learned yesterday that I have a long way to go to learn about myself, build my skills, and be more aware of my judgment of people. Each year I grow as a person and in that growth, through interactions with people living on the street, rich people, the general population, the other 120 participants… I will learn more, just as long as I’m able to accept my humility. I was humiliated yesterday, and now I’m humbled.”

Kristy

“The Mid-week Event last night and it was awesome. It felt really good being surrounded by people who have been supporting us and the campaign. The moment when it was over was really rough. Although the group is great, it was hard to have those who care about leave you. It felt really lonely.”

Last night was a sleepless night. There were a number of times when people were present in our sleeping space and it created an uneasy feeling. I think it just speaks to the vulnerability on how the people on the streets must feel. You don’t feel 100% safe; this experience is getting more emotionally draining.

Trying to cling to the purpose of this campaign and the difference it is making to get through the loneliness that I have been feeling.”